It’s scientific fact that anything more than 3 hours sleep is just plain excessive, so armed with that shield of information our intrepid explorer sat up until the wee hours tying up all loose ends (code for ‘everything that should have been done WEEKS ago’)
Upon rising he bounded down the stairs, gobbled down a protein shake and proceeded to wander round in a befuddled dazeFast forward to the airport and after an incident free check-in he began the pre-flight ritual… the ritual performed by all great explorers down through the ages since time immemorial: A frosty Strongbow in the departure lounge.
Then came the sign… the blessing he’d so eagerly anticipated… the nod from Bacchus indicating he was pleased with the planned adventure. . . . . . A pound off Strongbow!!! > But not content with this subtle sign the God of debauchery decided to ram his message home by thumping out ‘Hips don’t lie’ over the tannoy!?!?!?!
So there we have it. What could possibly go wrong now after that omen?
Strongbow? thought this was a journey of self-discovery; you’d already discovered cider! Hips don’t lie = tune, and also it’s quite apt considering you’re heading next door to Shakira’s homeland. I’ve just read that Venezuela has received 6 Miss World, 6 Miss Universe, 6 Miss International and 1 Miss Earth titles; making it the most beautiful, per capita, place on Earth…a place where your studly & buff self will feel at home i’m sure!
I’ve subscribed to follow this now and am looking forward to reading your updates; I really enjoy your writing & am looking to vicariously going on this hellacious ride with you!x