Hips don’t lie

Now our hero has many strengths, many qualities and virtues that make him a big deal… Hell, you wouldn’t be reading this if he wasn’t!

Possibly one of his greatest attributes was his love of the unknown and a thirst for new experiences. On many an occasion had he launched himself headfirst (usually with dangerously scant planning and forethought) into a new and potentially hazardous challenge, and usually he walked away unscathed (although his coat collection usually took a hammering).

So with zero thought for his own safety/sanity/pride he embarked on his greatest adventure to date:

“{insert slurring here} Yeah, so you may be Venezuelan, and yeah, you’ve been dancing since birth, and well yeah, you move like Shakira, but so what? I could totally beat you in a dance-off!”

And so it began.

The subsequent dance lesson revealed a fatal flaw in his quest for dancing supremacy – he totally sucks ass on the dance floor!

Yoga, rock climbing, Krav Maga… all disciplines requiring great levels of coordination, and all disciplines that he mastered to a level… but by the beard of Zeus did he suck at dancing! Legs, hips, arms, all moving at impossible angles, obeying unknown individual rhythms yet somehow combining to produce the greatest Mr Bean parody Venezuela had ever seen.

Salsa, Merengue, Reggaeton: 3 very different dances with distinct moves yet all were butchered with the same savage beauty that is Fray’s dancing.

Could he improve? Could he manage somehow, someway, to move his hips and feet at the same time in a show of coordinated unity? Brutal honesty would say “not a f##kin chance my friend”, but Fray was not a quitter. He didn’t care how many toes he stepped on or shins he kicked… he would persevere… he would learn… and he would become…


4 thoughts on “Hips don’t lie”

  1. Awh, we totally messed this up and sent the wrong Fray – I would dominate those dance floors! (shame I’m four and a half thousand miles away from proving that but, hey, you know it). I can’t believe you’ve not even been away for two weeks yet!


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